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A Lawyer Favorite Attorney Jokes

A Lawyer Favorite Attorney Jokes

Attorney Jokes

Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is wearing a future lawyer?

A: She has an extreme urge for baloney.

Q: What is the legal definition of appeal?

A: Something that a person puts in a grocery store.

Q: Why did God make snakes for lawyers?

A: To practice.


Q: What do you call an attorney with an IQ of 12?

A: you honor

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer asks more.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, polite person at a state association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, the other side must get one.

Q: What do you get if you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An offer you can not understand.

Q: What do you call a lawyer bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called “Divorced Barbie”?

A: It comes with half Ken’s good and alimentation.

Q: What is the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?

A: Jewelery.

Q: What is the definition of mixed emotions?

A: Look at your lawyer driving a wreath in your new Ferrari.

Q: What is the difference between attorneys and accountants?

A: At least, accountants know that they are boring.


  1. A man who took millions of people went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, “Do not worry. You’ll never go to prison with the money?” In fact, when the man was sent to prison, he did not have a mistake.
  2. When the lawyer woke up from the operation, he asked, “Why are all the blinds drawn?” The nurse answered: “There is a fire over the street and we did not want you to think you were dead.”
  3. God has decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard it laughed and said, “And where do you think you will find an attorney?”
  4. A lawyer attends the desk in his new office. He hears someone comes to the door. In order to impress his first potential customer, he pick up the phone while the door opens and says, “I claim one million and not a penny less.” While hanging up, the man who is now in his office says, “I’m here to connect your phone.”

And lastly,

you can be an attorney than …. You ask someone to read these jokes.

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