How To Make A Contemporary Fictional Heroine

It was so easy. All you needed was a fat male of trousers, high cheekbones and a determined little chin. add a gram of determination and an event of your past that still ghosts you. Then wham! You were the perfect fictional heroine.

But now it’s not that simple. With television shows like Grays Anatomy and Ally McBeal, books like Bridget Joness Diary and Good in Bed, and movies like Miss. Congeniality and Legally Blonde, get all kinds of mixed messages about how the ideal woman is supposed to be. What is a modern girl who wants to keep herself from impossible standards?

Easy! Follow these guidelines, and you will be as greasy, complex and neuric as the rest of them. In other words, you will be the perfect, contemporary fictional heroine.

Step 1 Be

Failure This step is super easy, because come on, were everyone already flawed, right?


Except for one little one. It is necessary to accept the correct mistakes, and these three are not negotiable.

1.) You must be self-employed. This includes comparing your own small personal problems with things like death, war and injustice, and finding a kind of unique parallel, regardless of what the situation may be. It also includes having a constant inner dialogue with yourself where you show these parallels with a witty commentary on it. For example: Even the news reminded me of him. Yesterday I saw this report saying that routine circumcision in Africa could prevent 300,000 deaths in the next ten years. What a shocker! Cutting away from an older penis can help eliminate pain, loss and sadness. What will they think next?

2.) You must have food problems. If you intend to be a television or movie heroine, it means you can not eat. Period. If you intend to be a book hero, it means that you have to eat all the time except when you do not eat and then you should eat over. I strongly recommend the second option.

3.) You have to deal with an unhealthy relationship. This includes, but is not limited to relationships with boyfriends, friends, mothers, fathers, chambermates and exes. Especially exes. (And make sure your ex is dreamy, preferably with a new girl who is in no way as good to you as you were.)

Step 2 Practice Retail Therapy

Today’s contemporary fictional heroine realizes a fundamental truth that there is no problem too big or too small that can not be corrected with shopping. Again, there is a catch; You must be careful about what you are going to do shopping. Hard and fast everything is practical or cheap. Other than that, I provided you with a list of approved shopping items, with the highly recommended items at the top, and continued in descending order:


shoes Designer beauty products

Designer chocolate

Designer wallets

Designer underwear

Anything else designer

Clothing (It is listed as The whole last option, because although clothes shopping may be very nice, if you acted, the stroke for your ego will be so great that it will ignore the therapeutic aspect of retail therapy.)

Step 3 Has a purpose, ask it deeply, accept then or leave it to find a new goal.

Rather than going into unnecessary details, I created a handy dandy card. Choose an option from each column and you’ll be fine to go.

Column A

1.You are a (lawyer, publisher or banker) and you love the power and money.

2.You are a (doctor, police spokesperson or writer) and you love life change.

  1. You are a happy mom, and you love your family.

4.On all the above, and you’ve never been so fulfilled!

Column B

  1. It all becomes too much and nobody understands you.
  2. No one of it means anything more and nobody understands you.

3.You wish you can have time for yourself and why do not you understand?

  1. Is it really what you want to do? After all, you had a major subject in art history.

Column C

  1. After meeting the right guy, you decide to chuck everything and stay abroad.
  2. Once you fall in love with the guy you’ve been together for years, you decide to start your own home-made greeting card company.
  3. Once you realize that the naked man is actually the one for you, you will return with your new career to your career.
  4. Who needs health insurance at all? You decide to take time just to focus on you.


This is how you see; It’s really not that hard for the truth to imitate fiction. Gone are the days of mooring, wearing corsets, and die of consumption. Currently, all you need is a bit of attitude with a scarcely noticeable social complex. So get your credit cards ready, heat the oven for those brownies, and start your life live as if everyone can (and wants) hear what to say. A New Age Has Arrived!