What is Relationship Anxiety?
Windowofworld.com – Relationship anxiety is a real problem that must be fought by each partner. Not only the fear of a commitment, but the real anxiety and worry arises at every stage of the relationship. This anxiety can actually hinder the life of love, no matter how severe people who experience anxiety to find a love.
The worst part is, anxiety in relationships can really get worse when romantic relationships become more serious. The mind becomes very complicated and some thoughts respond negatively to one of the most pleasant aspects of life; love.Instead of accepting every moment, those who have anxiety in relationships are disturbed by worries, fears, doubts, and insecurities. If this describes you, you are certainly not alone and relationship anxiety help is available.
People who have excessive feelings of anxiety in a relationship usually have a diagnosis of anxiety disorders. People with anxiety disorders (GAD or generalized anxiety disorder) tend to face difficult times during their lives. Because, his heart and mind are always filled with anxiety so that he feels uneasy. Though everything on his mind is not necessarily true or will happen. This excessive anxiety effect was not only for sufferers, but also for couples. So, how does excessive anxiety affect the love affair with a partner? The following explanation.
Anxious people tend to depend on their partners
Some people with GAD feel they really need a partner or best friend. The reason is, they believe that the couple and those around him will provide support to him. For this reason, people with GAD can become very dependent or dependent on their partners.
However, the effects of excessive anxiety can cause suspicion or improper paranoia. For example, feeling suspicious when a partner doesn’t respond quickly to chats, being afraid of a partner suddenly becoming unfaithful, and various other worries. In friendships, people with GAD might think that their best friend is talking about it behind their backs.
People who experience excessive anxiety are also more easily provoked negative emotions. This unstable mood makes them often angry with their partner without cause. So, do not be surprised if over time your partner feels disturbed and reduce their confidence in you. As a result, your love relationship is in danger of being shaken.
If you are one of them, try to remind yourself that your suspicion is only limited to your thoughts. Take your time to consider things that make you anxious and worried. Is it because of the effects of fatigue, workload, or a bad mood.
It never hurts to ask the therapist for advice on undergoing cognitive and behavioral therapy. This therapy can help you reduce the effects of excessive anxiety that have an impact on your partner. You and your partner can express each other’s problems and decide the best course of action to overcome them.
On the other hand, they can even avoid their partners
Meanwhile, some people with GAD can become very independent and like to be alone. That is, they prefer to avoid others. This is allegedly because they are trying to control their negative emotions so they do not have an impact on others.
People with excessive anxiety can become more introverted and rarely express their feelings. This makes them seem less empathetic and cold to others.
If you are one of them, you may feel uncomfortable with intimacy in a romantic relationship. Or it could also be distrust of whatever the partner says or does. Even when plagued by problems, you may be more restrained from expressing your heart’s content.
To overcome this, try to undergo cognitive behavioral therapy and interpersonal-emotional process therapy. Both of these therapies can help you explore past, present, and emotional relationships. The goal is that you can find the cause of excessive anxiety and trust your partner’s presence.
What Causes Relationship Anxiety?
Relationship anxiety can be caused by many factors, both internal and external factors. But in general the causes of relationship anxiety can be summarized as follows;
1. Insecurity in relationships
People who get enough comfort and security from their mothers from childhood will also have a sense of security towards others. Their needs will be clearly seen when we recognize them. They get enough appreciation from their parents when they grow up. It is this appreciation that creates a sense of security and comfort about who they really are.
In romantic relationships, they will feel safe and trusted by people who are always there for them when needed. They will appreciate the couple’s independence, but at the same time they also ‘want to be picked up after work’ or ‘sad when your beloved cat is dead.’
2. Feeling neglected when in a relationship
Usually, they are people who from a young age see that their needs are not considered important to their parents. When they are angry or hurt, their parents just walk away and never calm them down.
This certainly makes them feel insecure as adults. They have never been shown a way to deal with emotional outbursts, which will surely plunge them into a circle of contention with a partner. When they are taught that emotions in themselves are not so important, they will fear the emotions themselves and tend to avoid emotional conflicts.
Usually these people will be filled with waves of anger and do not know how to express it or discuss it with their partners. This will lead to a feeling of anxiety and anxiety.
3. Fear of rejection from a partner
People who avoid this rejection are usually emotionally unable to share with others. They will usually avoid the interests of their partners and make them unloved by ignoring them.
Not only that, they usually ignore conflicts as if conflict is not important in a relationship.
4. Fear of losing a partner because of fear of yourself
People who are afraid of losing are usually trapped in a feeling of a dilemma, they want to be loved but are afraid to get closer to the people they like.
Of course they want to be closer to the person they like, but they are afraid that if they get too close they will damage the intimacy that has been created. They that their relationship will be broken and end up with disappointment and injury. They will avoid this disappointment by running away from their loved ones.
Avoiding feelings, ideas, and relationships are things they usually do.
If you are this type, you are not alone. We sometimes fear being too close to someone. The thought that we are disappointed they might be scary. But, you must know that there are many ways to get peace of mind.
It’s not easy to deal with this condition every time you are close to someone. But realizing that you have this condition will help you to accept the situation and live your day better.
You can start by having a healthier relationship with yourself so that you can more easily interact with other people. Everyone has their own problems, and there’s nothing wrong if we start to accept that we ourselves can sometimes have weaknesses that we don’t realize.
What are the Symptoms of Relationship Anxiety?
Couples who experience relationship anxiety can experience a variety of symptoms, all of which can jeopardize a romantic relationship. Let’s discuss some common symptoms:
- Fear of being judged by a partner: Couples who are anxious about relationships may have low self-esteem. Because of low self-esteem, they fear negative judgment by their partners. Unlike others, negative judgment will take a heavy toll on those who have this problem.
- Fear of being abandoned by a partner: This will be a major rejection and increase fear.
- Fear of intimacy: Emotional vulnerability presents difficulties.
- High Desire: Always want to be near your partner and the need for constant love.
- Causing conflict in relationships when everything is going well: This is also called push-pull behavior. After causing conflict, those who have anxiety relationships encourage closeness.
- Inappropriate jealousy: This is an extreme form of jealousy that goes beyond just maintaining a relationship that you value.
- Feel compelled to test your partner: This is done in an effort to test your partner’s love and commitment. Passing the test serves as a guarantee.
- Emotional instability: This can be in the form of increased sadness, impulsiveness, irritability or anger.
- Need for ongoing assurance: People with this type of anxiety need assurance to relieve negative feelings but the effect is only temporary.
- Unnecessary defense: Negative behavior can arise as a result of extreme anxiety.
How to Overcome Relationship Anxiety?
You can follow the tips below to become better at maintaining Relationship Anxiety, and can even foster happiness and harmony in a relationship;
1. Know that you have a problem.
If you have relationship anxiety the best way is to acknowledge this fact, it can eliminate the confusion you’ve been carrying for years.
You will no longer ask yourself. Why am I so bad at relationships?
2. Find out what Attachment style is
If you are a scary avoider, you might want to think of ways to deal with the fears of your relationship. Go back mentally to your childhood and remember how your relationship with your mother was.
Are you happy with him?
Do you play with him a lot?
Does he care about you when you are angry, scared or sad or punish you for showing natural human emotions?
3. Challenge yourself.
If you are brave enough, challenge your attachment style by finding emotionally healthy partners and friends. Go to places where these people usually hang out and try to connect with them.
Can you do that? Why? Why not? How did you feel during this challenge?
4. Practice mindfulness.
When you have Relationship Anxiety, it can indirectly shift focus from your body, needs and emotional needs, thoughts, and emotions of a partner.
If you are worried about what you think of yourself or by trying not to disappoint your partner so as not to leave you.
Instead of being independent, spend more time alone to become independent.
Look for support groups that deal with unhealthy behaviors such as codependency (if you have anxiety in relationships, you might be codependent).
5. Get into the habit of asking yourself every day, “How do I feel today?“
Are you angry, excited, or sad about current events in your life? If you are in a relationship that is prone to conflict, ask yourself how the body’s reaction to your partner?
What does your intuition say about him?
Are you happy with him?
Do you feel better if you are alone?
Go back to assess yourself, so you don’t always blame your partner.
6. Seek help from the therapist
Seek help from therapists who are experienced in family relationships and trauma. He will know the best way to move forward from where you are now.Muster your courage to deal with relationship anxiety
It’s not easy to deal with relationship anxiety every time you find yourself dating someone new.We can change our lives to be healthy by always giving positive thinking to everything that happens. Do not be a little bit blaming other people or your partner, it could be the core problem so far lies in yourself.
Thus our article about relationship anxiety, hopefully can be an insight for you. We add, the most important thing in a relationship is “mutual awareness”. The purpose of mutual awareness is, being aware of yourself. If we are already aware of all the things that are in us, then to understand the couple, or any relationship.
Thank you for your visit, if this article is useful for you, that means it can also be useful for your friends, relatives or the world. Share with them so they can also learn about relationship anxiety like you.
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